I Lose Shoes

I don't know if I am mildly retarded or what, but I have been looking for a pair of shoes AROUND MY HOUSE for two days. They are my fake Vans that I pretty much wear everyday and they are missing. I've looked everywhere. I've looked under the couches, I've looked underneath the giant pile of clothes in my bedroom, I've looked OUTSIDE.

Now this is not the first time this has happened. Once, I washed my Scottish Vans and when I went to take them out of the dryer, there was only ONE. It is only a few feet from the washing machine to the dryer. Not much distance for a shoe to escape, right? WRONG. I looked for that damned shoe for weeks. WEEKS. I did several other loads of laundry in that time. About three weeks later I look in the dryer, and there is the shoe. WTF? Someone has got to be fucking with me. Chad promised on his life that it wasn't him. I have a couple of theories as to what happened.
Theory 1: The little girl next door was so taken with me and my plaid shoes that she stole one to admire. Her parents later found her cuddling it in bed and were too embarrassed to return it to me personally, so they slipped in back into my dryer.
Theory 2: My dryer is possessed.
Theory 3: Chad is trying to make me go crazy so he can have the house to himself and play guitar as loud as he wants. (It's working.)

I've been wearing my beloved waffle soled Nikes as a replacement. While I am happy to put the Wafflys back into rotation, because fittingly enough, I had lost one under the giant clothes pile in my bedroom; they certainly lack the convenience of the slip-ons. Le Sigh.

I am putting out an Amber alert for my fake Vans. If you see them please give me a call. :(

I'm goint to Target to buy these:

Hopefully I won't lose them.

Travis County Island Bears RULE!

Yesterday afternoon the TCIB, representing Dart Bowl Cafe, took part in a scavenger hunt put on by Red Diversions. Even though we started 30 minutes after the other teams, we came in first place and won 300 bucks! This was due to our awesome anagram and rebus skills. I give Sean "Stereo" Mason the MVP award for his infallible knowledge of Austin and his safe, but efficient driving skills. The scavenger hunt had us going all over town, we went to:
1. The Congress St. Bridge
2. Zilker park
3. Whole Foods
4. Book People
5. The Eiffel Tower replica at Dreyfus Antiques
6. Toy Joy
7. Mangia Pizza
8. Cool River restaurant
9. The Triangle
10. The Martin Luther King Statue at UT
11. The Frost Bank Tower
12. Chucky Cheese's at S. 1st (the employees had no idea a scavenger hunt was even going on.)
and finally
13. Aussie's Sport Bar and Grill.
Along the way we had to do crosswords, sing tv theme songs, and play skee ball. Even though it was hot as hell, and Thomas twisted his ankle because he was running in flip flops, it was an excellent way to spend a Sunday afternoon. There is another hunt coming up in 3 months. Anyone care to challenge the victorious Island Bears?

Another Audition

Yes, I had another audition yesterday. This one was for Psycho Beach Party. I think it went fairly well. Errich and Bre were there so I felt really comfortable. They lent me their moral support and impeccable comedic timing. The director had Bre and I read for a butch dyke lesbian part and told the only other girl there that she didn't have to read for it because she was pretty. Yeah, I KNOW. You should've seen mine and Bre's face. I was like "What, me not pretty, but I have dimples!." He later apologized. I found it to be mildly amusing. Perhaps even bemusing. Except not really. Oh and get this, another young high school lassie was there with her stage mom. It's becoming a freakin' epidemic. Or, I am just getting old and crotchety. Most likely the latter.

Letty Appreciates

This week's installment of Letty Appreciates is about cats with their tongues sticking out. Ths is perhaps the greatest thing that you could ever see in your life. Cats, always trying to look all cool and pulled together. Guess what kitty, you were too relaxed and you let your guard down. YOUR TONGUE IS STICKING OUT, AND IT'S FREAKING ADORABLE. Scoff all you want, but it makes me happy. There is not really much more I can say about this simple delight. Hooray cats!

P.S. Stuff on my cat is the greatest website ever. Enjoy.

BRAINS

I auditioned for Bitten! A Zombie Rock Odyssey yesterday night. I think it went well, all I had to do is sing a song, which is one of the few things I truly excel at. I sang Blue Collar Man by Styx. Now, I've got to admit, I can sing the bejeezus out of that song. Tommy Shaw really has his work cut out for him when I'm around. If I don't get a callback I will be baffled, no one can resist the Styx.

But all is not right. I was disturbed at the number of 15 year old girls at the audition. One girl had braces and another one was with her mother. Now, I am not the most mature lady in the world, but I know for a fact that if I spend any considerable amount of time with these girls, their delicate eggshell adolescent minds will be fucked FO' LIFE! Anyone who knows me knows this is the absolute truth. EXCELLENT.

The Frito Pie Fiasco

I am in the middle of a giagantic argument about Frito Pie. These NON TEXANS are saying that you have to put the frito pie ingredients into a casserole dish and bake it. FUCKING BAKE IT! That's absurd! It's just wrong. Frito pie is simply fritos, with WOLF BRAND CHILI poured over the top, then topped with cheddar cheese. In middle school I used to eat it right out of the bag. You don't gotta get all fancy and shit.

In any case, Frito pie is a winner.

Update, my friend Bridget (a Missourian) and I are having a Frito Pie cook-off this Friday. Pictures and results are to come!

7/17/06 MONDAY

What I did at work today:

Sat
Drank coffee
Tooled around on the internet
Read some of "Smart Couples Finish Rich" (Chad's grandma bought it for us.)
Played Freecell x 6
Shuffled papers around my desk in an attempt to look busy
Daydreamed about having legs like Susan Sarandon (Rocky Horror era)
Ate Ruffles KC Masterpiece BBQ potato chips
Made this list.

I had a busy day.

Letty Appreciates

Every week I will talk about something that I really appreciate. May it be a song, a food item, clothing, people, et al.

This week, I appreciate the song "I'm Not In Love" by 10cc. When you first hear that layer of synths, you're fucking hooked. Now imagine this song is playing at the roller rink during couples skate. Jesse Coddington is skating with Kelly Fonseca and they're HOLDING HANDS. You're on the sidelines in your Gitano jeans sobbing. This song has SO MUCH! SO MUCH SYNTHS! I imagine this is what it sounds like when you open the gates to heaven. This song and "All of My Love" by Led Zeppelin would be playing on repeat.

Big boys don't cry. Big boys don't cry. Big boys don't cry.

AWESOME, I appreciate you, "I'm not In Love" by 10cc. You make my day.

OMG PROJECT RUNWAY!!!

Project Runway! I am in love with Keith, nuff said.

Here we go!

It has long been acknowledged that my birthday lasts the entire month of July. I remember in elementary school, being that I am a summer baby, I had to pick a day in the middle of autumn to celebrate my birthday. I was pissed. I didn't want to celebrate in SEPTEMBER (ugh), I wanted to celebrate in JULY.

Now let us discuss why July 24th (my actual birthday) is important:

• It is also my father's birthday. My father is a cool dude. He sports a mustache and has a black belt in Tae Kwon Do.
• It is the 205th day in the year.
  
• Carl Yastrzemski hit his 400th career homerun.
  
• Hey, Simon Bolivar was born this day. He's important!
• Peter Sellers died on this day. Two years before I was born.
• Ruth Buzzie, your favorite comedienne and mine was born to bring mirth to the world.

For the longest time I thought that my birthday was also National Hot Dog Day. I was sorely dissapointed to find out that it was actually July 21st. By god, it's going to take more than three days to keep me from enjoying the shit out of a hot dog though. AMEN TO THAT.